— Brent Musburger is a dirty old man for making those comments about the Alabama quarterback’s girlfriend.

— My wife dragged me to see “Les Miserables.” I definitely agree with the title of that movie — it sure made me miserable.

— Yes, we have a right to bear arms (if we so desire) but I do not see the need for ordinary citizens to own “military assault” weapons. Even their name implies “military,” so why would I need one? Certaintly not to hunt. If you shoot an animal multiple times, what would be left to eat? Mush.

— My pretend girlfriend is Katherine Webb, girlfriend of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron. I hope A.J. doesn’t mind.

— I heard that Caterpillar here in Griffin has recently laid off hundreds of workers. I wonder how many of them voted for Obama? How’s that vote working out for you so far?

— Maybe having an imaginary girlfriend is the way to go. At least you wouldn’t have somebody nagging you all the time. But on the downside, there would be nobody to cook, clean and do laundry.